“Muhahahaha! This is your God speaking. Who else can make you switch from an early morning walk in a down coat to a sweaty walk in shorts with your hair pulled back in a scrunchy in the same week. (And, no, I’m not responsible for naming it a scrunchy. Well, maybe I am, since I created the brain that couldn’t think of something more creative.)
“What’s that, you say? You still don’t believe in global warming? Careful now! You’ve got that whole Washington summer ahead, and next on the agenda is your regularly scheduled appearance of locusts. And you thought those nasty little stink bugs were annoying.
“What’s that? Yes, I like hearing your prayers. Think about it—even when your own kids are asking for things you know they don’t need, you’re still happy they’re talking to you, right? You and I are not all that different, as I’ve reminded you for over 2000 years.
“What’s that? You’ve got a list, too? Well, let’s hear it.
“You’re not asking for things? You’ve got a list of questions? Okay, go for it. Are your loved ones happy here? Yes, they’re fine, but I’m not giving you the details. You could come here and find out for yourself, but you’re not ready for that now, are you?
“What else? Why do I allow tsunamis and hurricanes and other weather disasters to kill thousands of people? See Paragraph 2 above. You can’t give me ALL the blame for that.
“Why do I let bad politicians make a mess of our world? Well, I don’t think you people in the U.S. can blame me for that either, now can you?
“So go on….
“Why do people suffer? Why do I take little kids and leave those with Alzheimer’s trapped in their bodies in nursing homes? Why do bad things happen to you and the people you love?
“Hmmm. Has it ever occurred to you to ask me why good things happen to you? Why I brought you together with the people you love? Why I give you that beautiful beach you walk on? Those sunsets no painter can replicate? Those spring flowers and butterflies that are more beautiful in real life than your camera can capture, even with HD?
“No, I thought not. Let’s keep talking, and maybe one day you’ll figure it out.”
This message is brought to you by the girl with more questions than answers.